Lead on, Frankie

Frankie–getting older, taking on the ‘betes more every day. He tells me he doesn’t think he needs to text me the pre-bus check anymore. He wants to text only if he needs a pickup–can’t take the bus, and only when he needs me. Oh My!

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Talking it over, we decide to have a ‘trial’ run of “What would Frankie do?” regarding bus check. Everyday–instead of a text with his BG & my text back of what to do—Frankie will be texting me his BG and what HE decides based on the reading…until Holiday break & see how it goes making the final decision before going back to school after break.

Yesterday:

Frankie : BG 182 .50 OB (that’s his BG and insulin ‘on board’- in his system) Aware. (meaning he feels good–‘aware’ of his body) K 2 ride bus.

MOM: good choice–great job–good to go.

When he says “I’ve got this” I know he does—my head knows–but my heart worries and doesn’t want him to have to take it all on–but we have always faced D telling him HE is the leader.

He stayed on syringe shots when all and everyone encouraged an insulin pen or a pump. He decided on pen about a year in—again facing all the “go on the pump” advice. He was not ready—and he knew that better than anyone. The end of year 3—he came home one day and said “let’s go to pump class” where he choose the Omnipod because it is tubeless. We have talked about continuous glucose monitors and he says “I don’t want something else attached, I’d rather take my number 1,000 times.” He has never missed a BG check.

He has been self managing in school for 2 years. In that time his A1C (glucose level over a 3 month period—Frankie’s goal is to hit between 7-8) has gone from 8.5 to 7.6. In the beginning of this—he would text—his BG before and after gym, at lunch, snack time, throughout the day—and we had a  gradual reduction in calls and texts—as he figured it out—and the slow progression to just the bus check—it didn’t hit me like a ton of bricks—because it was gradual.

This change is a struggle for me, my ton of bricks, my smack in the head—because I want to KNOW his glucose level, but I realize—I want to know for MY sake—more than for his. We BOTH know—this ‘trial run’ is for me. This is LOVE. Frankie giving me this time, this trial, so I can get used to this change. It’s coming—he is helping me adjust. Truth is—some days the bus check goes like this:

Frankie: BG 122 Drop Pick up (meaning good BG, but he feels it dropping, so he can’t take the bus and needs to be picked up.) “I’ve got this” and he does.

When playing sports—Frankie gives me hand signals—so I know he is okay—again—that is for ME not him, but he loves me—so he does them. I asked him after a game “Is it better when Dad goes to games?” “Not better-easier” he said.

I am realizing I am another aspect of diabetes management my son considers. He could have stopped sending the bus check (he knows I would have blown up his phone with calls! LOL), or could have told Dad “tell Mom no more bus check,” but he did what a good leader does—he talked to me, and told me he had a plan. He knows I worry, wonder, and wait—he also knows I trust him.

We move forward, we change.

Lead on, Frankie.

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